Always Enough (Enough Series #2) Page 4

  “I’m sure you do.” I tried to step away from him but he held me firmly. “Let’s hear it.”

  “I want you to come out to New York with me.” He tilted his head to the side and raised his eyebrows, silently telling me to shut up and let him finish. “Come out there and see that it’s just lights and a show. The women that are out there … they aren’t real, Harper. I haven’t been with a single woman since you, and I plan on keeping it that way. But I also want you to see that there is more between us than you’re allowing yourself to feel.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Give me a break, Ky.”

  “Here’s the part I know you’ll love. I want you to try to not come on to me.”

  My mouth parted in shock before I burst out laughing. “You think I can’t control myself around you? Is that it? Oh boy, you really are a delusional chick.”

  “Did you just call me a chick?” I could see the same Kyler from back in high school, cocking his head to the side, scrunching his nose up, and looking like a dumb blonde.

  “Yeah, I did. You’re being such a girl about this.” What I didn’t say was that he was also being smart. I didn’t like losing a challenge, and he knew it. “If you think you can drag me out to New York just to prove to me that there is more here than just sexual chemistry, then fine. But don’t cry about it when you see that I’m right.”

  A self-assured look came over his face.

  “Good. I’m leaving to go back first thing in the morning. You fly out later that day, and I’ll have everything taken care of.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek. The contact sent sparks through my body. He brought his lips to the shell of my ear and with a feather light touch, he whispered, “Just remember I caught you when you fell, Harper.”

  He pulled away and turned to walk out the door. “What do you mean, ‘when I fell?’”

  Kyler turned around. “When you finally realize that you’ve fallen for me … remember that I caught you, and I’ll keep hold of you … and I’ll keep holding on for as long as you’ll let me.”

  Then he walked out and shut the door behind him.

  “Harper, can you take Allie for a second?” Em asked.

  She handed Allie over to me and I cradled her close to my body. “I’ll always hold my Allie girl.” I smiled and cooed down at her.

  Em started unpacking her hospital bag and settling in. They’d just arrived home from the hospital, but I had gotten there before them to make sure the house was cleaned up. Em didn’t need anything else to worry about. Finn had left to get Chinese take-out, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of Allie. She was such a beautiful baby. Her little cherub cheeks and her short eyelashes were sweet to look at as she slept in my arms. I was glad she was sleeping. I hadn’t been around babies that much, and even though I loved children, newborns were so … needy, that they made me nervous.

  “So tell me what happened with Kyler when he went to see you?” Em asked, with her back to me.

  I raised my eyebrows but she didn’t see. “Figures you would know he’d stopped by. What did you two do, scheme and plan it all out?”

  I wasn’t exactly mad at her for asking him questions since I was the one that had kept quiet about the split, but knowing that she had talked about me to him rubbed me the wrong way.

  As if she could read my mind she said, “It wasn’t like I was talking behind your back, Harper. But I was shocked when he told me that he had nothing to do with you two not being together. I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me about it?”

  “It wasn’t a big deal, that’s why.”

  She stopped stacking diapers on her changing table and turned to look at me. “That’s just it … it is a big deal. I’m your best friend and we tell each other everything.” She paused. “I want to know, just please help me understand. Ky and you are a good fit, why would you push him away?”

  I thought back to the hotel room. After Ky had left my room I think I stood staring at the door for a solid hour. I couldn’t believe that I had allowed the asshat to talk me into going to New York for a week. I’d been fully prepared to hunt him down, beat him to bloody pulp, and drive his body to the mountains for ravenous bears to take care of. But when he knocked on my door and I heard his voice, all of that went out the window. My body craved him. And yet part of me had felt a tinge of sadness. I wanted to run into his arms, and yet I couldn’t.

  The fact that I even had that tendency just made me want to be even more brutal the next time I saw him. Yep, I decided that I would make him eat his words. My body might well betray me and beg for his touch, but everything else he’d said was crap. We didn’t go any deeper than sex. I didn’t do all of that lovey-dovey relationship bullshit. Why would I? I’d seen one too many relationships around me crumble because the couple either fell out of love, or the guy decided the grass was greener. Well fuck greener. I’d rather take a shit on that greener side and be the leaver than the leavee.

  “Listen, Em, I don’t want to be negative. Especially not right after you’ve just had this beautiful little girl,” I said, looking down and smiling at Allie’s little face. “Can we talk about something else? Anything else … please?”

  “No,” she said firmly.

  I sighed deeply beginning to lose my patience. “Fine, you want to hash this out, then let’s hash it out. How long have you known me?”

  She looked confused, but answered, “Just over fifteen years, why?”

  “When have I ever done the relationship thing?”

  “You never have, until Kyler.”

  I let out an aggravated laugh. “That’s right. Ky was the first guy I ever tried the relationship thing with, and even that was a shot in the dark for me. Have you ever wondered why that is, Em?”

  “Of course I have, and every time I ask you about it, you change the subject or completely ignore me. So let’s try this again, why?”

  Not wanting to wake Allie, I laid her down in her pink bassinet and led Em out of the room. I was feeling exasperated and I didn’t want to yell. When we were safely in the hallway I turned and faced her.

  “They all leave, Em, all of them. I know you’re going to tell me to look at you and Finn, but you are an exception to the rule. Do you know how many men I saw walk in and out of mine and my mom’s lives?” I threw my hands up in the air. Just talking about this made me feel the need to pace. I shook my head and looked to her. “Too many to count.”

  “But why would that keep you from attempting a real relationship with someone? Obviously that doesn’t apply to everyone. And yes, I am going to tell you to look at Finn and me. We lost each other and found our way back. Not every man leaves, Harper.”

  I took a deep breath before I spoke again. “Open your eyes, Em. Over ninety percent of the people we went to high school with got married, but now they’re all divorced. I’d be willing to bet that if you asked the women, they’d tell you that they weren’t the ones that wanted it to end. Men can’t commit. And you know what? Neither will I.”

  Em was looking at me with pity in her eyes. She felt sorry for me. I didn’t want her to feel sorry for me.

  “Harper, sweetie, all of those people made mistakes at some point in their relationship and they either didn’t want to put in the work to fix the issues, or it was damaged beyond repair. That doesn’t have to be you, though.”

  It was coming. I knew it was. I was just waiting for it.

  “You have something special with Ky. He’s your … your person. How is it that you don’t see that?” She reached up and put her hand on my arm. “You need to give your relationship with him a chance, Harper. I have a feeling your reluctance to commit goes deeper than just seeing your mom go through men. Does any of this have to do with your dad?”

  Bingo! She knew me well enough to see past my bullshit and to ask the right questions. But how do I explain to her that my issues all root back to my dad?

  “Well … yeah, it does.” I shrugged my shoulders. “My dad left when I was just a kid and he was always in and o
ut of my life. I don’t want that for myself, or any future kids I may have. All I ever wanted was my dad to be there for me, and he wasn’t. He was more interested in his buddies and whatever drug he was using to get high.”

  Em reached out and touched my cheek. “God, Harper, I knew your dad had used drugs, but I didn’t know he’d kept using them.”

  She was being so tender-hearted, and her touch felt like a mother’s touch. Even though she is my best friend, this isn’t what I wanted from her. I didn’t want pity.

  “Yeah well, such is the life of a user. He was never around when I needed him, and my mom was so messed up after she kicked him out that none of her relationships lasted. I think my dad was her one great love, and the pathetic fools that came after him never stood a chance.”

  “All of that was messed up, yes, but that doesn’t mean that has to be your life. You could be missing out on your forever.”

  I smiled at her, and her need for a happily ever after. “Even when I start to get close to someone, Em, I’ll always be waiting for that other shoe to drop. I can’t help it.”

  “Ky won’t do that to you. He’s faithful, and loyal. That man only has eyes for you, and I think you should tell him all of this. How else can he help you work through it if he doesn’t know why you won’t commit?”

  I felt a large lump forming in my throat. Kyler deserved the truth but I was afraid that my issues would be too much for him to handle, and he would prefer to be with someone who didn’t come with the baggage I did.

  “He convinced me to go to New York for the week, so he can prove to me that we have more than just a sexual relationship. What if he’s right, Em?” I leaned my back against the wall and put my head in my hands.

  She smiled at me and said, “He is right, Harper. You just need to let him in. I think you going and spending time with him will be a good thing. But will you be able to let your guard down?”

  “How do you drop walls that have been there your whole life?”

  Em took a step towards me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, bringing me in for a hug.

  “It’s Ky, Harper. I have a feeling he will know what to do.”

  I pulled back slightly and wiped at a stray tear.

  “We’ll see, won’t we? Now can we go back in and watch that sweet little girl sleep? It’ll probably be your last chance before she wakes up and figures out she has a set of pipes to use.”

  Em hooked her arm through mine and we went back in to Allie’s room to baby gaze.

  I flew into LaGuardia airport and made my way to the hotel. When I arrived, I went to the check-in counter and requested that they upgrade me from a one-bedroom to a two-bedroom suite. Harper would expect me to either put her in her own hotel room, or she might even think that we would be sharing a bed in my room. Well, that wasn’t going to happen. I meant what I said when I told her that I knew we had something that went beyond just sex. I also wasn’t naïve enough to know that she wouldn’t tempt me with her hot little body, and I needed to keep some space between us and my bedroom. That girl was a sex kitten, and I knew I would struggle to keep my dick to myself.

  After unpacking my suitcase, I walked down the hallway to where I knew my fellow band mates would be more than likely playing Xbox and screwing around. Sure enough, the metal bolt was sticking out to keep the door from completely shutting, so I let myself in.

  “Hey, pretty boy, how was your trip?” Anders asked.

  Anders was the lead singer for Down Glory Road, or DGR as we were known. He was your typical rocker—tatted up, with dark spiky, messy hair, and dressed like an emo. He was actually a pretty cool guy, and a wicked songwriter. He sat in the corner, his guitar propped up on his knee and a piece of paper on the glass table in front of him. He liked to call me ‘pretty boy’ because I was the total opposite of him. In high school we probably wouldn’t have run in the same crowds, but in the band we got along great. In fact all of us were a pretty tight knit group.

  “It was … well, it was good, I guess. Finn’s little girl, Allie, was born and they are all doing well.” Anders nodded and started to strum a tune. The band knew Finn back when we were writing songs for them so they were just as happy to hear about Allie’s arrival as I was. “But there’s something I need to talk to you all about,” I directed to all the guys.

  “Oh you’re going down, dickhead.” Sonny yelled.

  “Keep dreaming, you’ve never beaten me.” Levi grinned.

  Both were dueling it out over Call of Duty. Lincoln sat on the couch next to Sonny, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. All three of them were completely immersed in the game. I didn’t think any of them had heard me. I was still trying to figure out how I was going to tell them about Harper, but I guess just coming out with it was the best way.

  Levi laughed deeply, tossing the remote down on the coffee table, while a very pissed off looking Sonny looked ready to pummel him.

  “You cheated.”

  A smug looking Levi said, “No I didn’t, you just suck at this game.”

  “Yes, you did. You can’t camp out and wait for me to come to you. That’s not how war works, asshole.” Sonny’s face was getting red.

  “How would you know? You ever been to war? I was just playing the game, man. If you’re going to be a dick about it, maybe you shouldn’t play anymore.”

  Sonny growled and got up and went into the kitchen to grab a beer. He clapped my hand and said “hey” on his way by.

  Levi and Lincoln both got up from the couch and walked over to me. Levi was who I would call the ‘smart guy’ of the group, and he had a very carefree attitude toward life. Girls fell all over themselves for a chance with him. He was a tall, blonde haired, surfer-looking kid. I didn’t really know why Anders called me ‘pretty boy’ when Levi fit the bill.

  Lincoln on the other hand was what I would call … ‘broody.’ He had caramel colored eyes, and was always in the gym. I’d never seen a dude more cut than Linc. I didn’t know his whole story, but I knew he doesn’t smile much, was a genius on the drums, and had been with the band since before they were signed to the record label.

  “‘Sup, boys?” I said to the two of them.

  “Back already, huh?” Levi asked.

  “Yeah, and I was just telling Anders that I have something to talk to you boys about.” I rubbed the back of my neck.

  “Sounds serious.” Sonny came up behind me and handed me a beer.

  All joking aside, Sonny was the one I had become closest to. He was a few inches shorter than me, but he was a jokester and loved sports. His role in the band was the same as mine—back-up vocals and bass guitar. Girls called his smile the ‘Fifty-Watt Smile’ and he used it to melt panties in every city we visited. Sonny was rarely seen without a girl after a show.

  “It kind of is,” I responded. “I’m having someone come out to stay with me this week. Someone I’ve known since high school.

  “A chick?” Anders said from by the table.

  “Is she hot?” Levi asked.

  I felt my blood start to simmer and I spoke through my teeth. “Yes, she’s a chick, and yes, she’s hot. She’s the hottest fucking girl I’ve ever seen. And if I catch any of you fuckers trying to hook up with her, I’ll rearrange your balls. Harper’s mine.”

  “Whoa, dude, I just asked if she was hot.” Levi held his hands up, palms out. “Clearly you’ve staked your claim.”

  “Yeah, take it easy, bro.” Sonny hit his palm on my back. “Tell us about this Harper person that has you all up in arms.”

  I shrugged his hand off of my shoulder. “I’m not up in arms, but this girl … she’s special. Harper has been under my skin for years. I’ve convinced her to come out for the week, which wasn’t an easy task, so I need you all to behave yourselves. Do you think you can do that?”

  “Sure, man, no problem,” they said in unison.

  Anders spoke again, “Wait, is this the girl that you were seeing a few months ago? The one I caught you emailing the other
day?”

  “Oh wait, I know this chick. She’s Emilyn’s best friend,” Levi said.

  “Yeah, that’s her. I’ve known her for a really long time and I’ve liked her since I first saw her.” I nod, taking a swig of my beer.

  Sonny came up to me and I grunted when he reached out and cupped my junk.

  Shoving him away I yelled, “What the fuck, man!”

  “Well, boys, his balls are still there, but he sure sounded like a broad just now. You always say such sweet words, Ky?” Sonny blinked his eyes rapidly.

  Levi and Anders laughed, but it didn’t earn a laugh from Linc.

  “When is she getting in?” Lincoln asked, ignoring the other two.

  I looked down at my watch and said, “She’ll be here in about an hour. I got us a suite together, and I plan on spending a lot of time with her … alone. I’ll introduce her to you all, and then you fuckers are going to leave us alone.”

  Anders and Sonny chuckled.

  “What are you going to do with her when we celebrate my birthday?” Levi asked.

  Shit, I’d forgotten about that. Levi was turning twenty-five in three days, and we were all going out to some nightclub—he and the guys had rented out the entire top floor, and I had a feeling there would be strippers involved. Before I’d decided to bring Harper out here it wouldn’t have been a big deal, but I didn’t want to go to some bar and have tits all up in my face while my girl was back at the hotel.

  “I’ll figure it all out, but I’ll be there,” I reassured him.

  I told the guys that I was going back to my room to wait for Harper, but I’d be back in a couple hours and they needed to be on their best behavior. Back in my room, I unpacked my small carry-on suitcase I had taken with me to California before sitting down on the couch to wait. I’d put Harper on a mid-morning flight, in first class. If I could have sent the record label’s private plane for her I would have—only the best for my girl. But unfortunately it was only for the label and their clients. She’d get here just before dinner and I’d ask her if she wanted to go out to eat, or order room service. I’d planned on taking her out sightseeing so we would have time to talk and just be together, but it was also a ploy to prevent us from falling into old habits of jumping each other’s bones. Not that I was opposed to sex in public places—I could fuck Harper just about anywhere—but I needed to show her how much more we could be … together.